The Day that Almost Went Down in History as the Day Sally Peed Her Pants at Walmart

I had a lovely, long lunch with my friend Kate today.  We lingered at the table long after our plates were cleared, talking and nursing our refilled fountain drinks.  We visited the ladies' room before we left, and then I went on to Walmart to get some shopping done.

I hadn't been in the store more than 15 minutes before I realized I had to go again.  (In addition to all that Coke I drank at lunch, I'd consumed a bottle of water while riding my bike this morning.)    I just wanted to get my shopping done and get out.  I figured I could hold it until I got home.  So I continued my shopping, including waiting in line at the pharmacy.  Things were getting a bit desperate by the time I got to the dairy section.  I was determined to just get done, get out, and get home...to my own bathroom.  I tried to walk faster, but walking too fast seemed like it might invite disaster in the baking aisle.  My eyes were watering by then.  Why didn't I just turn around and walk to the back of the store and use the bathroom?  I guess because I have to do that so often with Olivia and it drives me crazy.  And I really do prefer my own bathroom.

As I was putting the last item in my cart, an announcement was made that the registers weren't connecting to the server, that it was a nation-wide problem, and that as a result, purchases could only be made either by credit card, not to exceed $125.00, or by cash.  I figured I had about $300.00 worth of stuff in my cart.  I was stocking up on things.  I quickly checked my wallet, and by some miracle, I had $128.00 in it.  That never happens.  Lines at the check out were moving very slowly, as customers were deciding which items they absolutely had to have.  I thought I might just pee my pants while waiting in line.  The checker was very friendly and talkative and apologetic about the problem.  If he'd known what other problem he was risking dealing with by going slowly, he probably would have been scanning like crazy and throwing things in the bags.  I mean, who wants a grown woman leaving a puddle of urine at his register?  Or anyone, for that matter?  He was very nice to me and let me do two transactions so I could pay for half of my stuff with my credit card and half with cash.

By the time I was walking out of the store, I was thinking that maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world if I peed my pants.  That's how badly I had to go.  And I blame it all on Kate.  For being such good company and for making me get a refill.  Okay, maybe only the first part.  It takes a true friend to help you get to the point where you realize that peeing your pants in public really wouldn't be a big deal.  And anyway, she'd pee her pants telling the story of how I peed my pants at Walmart.  But I didn't.  I'm happy to report that I made it home to my own bathroom.

And that is the end of my pee pee post.  I'll be back to posting cute things about Olivia and our continued search for our baby next time.